


If you say you Want Me

by RunaLiore



Series: D4DJ - AoTsuba [1]
Category: D4DJ First Mix (Anime), D4DJ Groovy Mix (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Kissing, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Non-binary Tsukimiyama Nagisa, Pining, Rondo (D4DJ Band), Trans Female Character, Transgender Aoyagi Tsubaki, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28506825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RunaLiore/pseuds/RunaLiore
Summary: “Aoi, if you keep saying things like that one day some girl’s going to misunderstand and back you up against a wall.”Hiiro offered Aoi that advice, but Aoi just smiled and laughed it off. Whether she was aware of it or not, Tsubaki was reaching her limit and there were only so many soft sighs and fevered blushes she could stand before she had to take action on her own.
Relationships: Aoyagi Tsubaki/Miyake Aoi
Series: D4DJ - AoTsuba [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2103489
Comments: 10
Kudos: 46





	If you say you Want Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [revolutionator](https://archiveofourown.org/users/revolutionator/gifts).



> Hi~
> 
> This is a gift for lovely friend Vector who helped encourage me to write Rondo and honestly is the main reason this fic even got started <3
> 
> I got extremely into this ship the second I started playing D4DJ, I love their dynamic and their aesthetic and the Rondo story reads so much like a dramatic romance between the two of them!!!
> 
> So I wrote this which was initially meant to be a 500 word drabble and, well...
> 
> Also a disclaimer: I wrote and posted this before D4DJ was out in English, so I'm relying on my admittedly limited Japanese comprehension. I could follow the story pretty well I think but I probably missed a few things and I apologize if I went out of character here with either of them because of that! Still, I hope you enjoy!

“Aoi, if you keep saying things like that one day some girl’s going to misunderstand and back you up against a wall.”

Hiiro offered that advice with a slight grin, glancing at Tsubaki for a moment before returning her gaze to Aoi.

“Eh? I meant it, though.” Aoi’s composure didn’t falter and she didn’t seem particularly distressed. At times like this, Tsubaki couldn’t tell if Aoi was being suave or oblivious – both dangerous prospects.

The three of them were gathered around the coffee table in Aoi’s apartment looking over a spread of magazines and photobooks to find inspiration for their next set of stage costumes. The topic of a promotional interview about their new setlist came up and Aoi had asked Tsubaki to join her. Tsubaki had hesitated, unsure of how much she could contribute to an interview with a highly specialized industry magazine, and that’s when Aoi looked directly into her eyes.

“Tsubaki, I want you with me.”

Tsubaki agreed to the interview without a second thought. That's when Hiiro gave Aoi her warning.

“Really, that habit of yours is dangerous.” Hiiro reiterated her warning to Aoi and folded her arms together. It was doubtful that Aoi would ever stop being so direct and disarming – Tsubaki had felt the heat rise in her ears whenever Aoi said things like ‘I need you,’ or ‘I want you,’ or ‘You’re essential to me.’ She was always talking about Rondo, of course, but for Tsubaki to see Aoi fix her eyes so firmly and speak with such certainty in that low, soothing voice when she said those things… it’d be hard for anyone to deal with that, right?

Aoi gave Tsubaki a soft smile and Tsubaki felt the urge to bolt out of her seat and run across the room. She stifled that reflex and continued shuffling through a stack of magazines to distract herself.

“I don’t mind,” She said, still looking at the pages in front of her, “If it’s for Rondo. We’re getting more requests like this and I don’t want Aoi to have to take care of them all on her own.”

Tsubaki glanced aside to Aoi, sighed to herself, and then continued flipping through photos and spreads.

“Hmm. Is that so?” Hiiro raised one hand and pressed a finger to her lip. “Well, I- Oh!”

Hiiro’s phone buzzed.

“Is it that time already? Oh dear. Aoi, Tsubaki, I’ll have to head out now. I’m leaving the rest to you!”

Hiiro stood and gathered her things with a casual haste before backing away to the door and slipping on her shoes.

“W-wait, Hiiro!” Tsubaki set her magazine down and followed after her, but by the time Tsubaki stood from the sofa Hiiro already had one foot outside.

“Sorry~ I forgot I promised I would go help Nagisa with a thing, I’ll make it up to you later maybe?” She didn’t sound like she intended to do any of those things. “I’ll see you both tomorrow! Good Luck, Tsubaki!”

“Hiiro, hold on just— ah, she’s gone.”

Aoi stared at the door, bemused for a moment before she got up and headed over to latch the deadbolt. She checked her phone once by the door but returned it to her jacket pocket after a quick glance.

“I wonder what she needed to help Nagisa with. Ah, Tsubaki,” Aoi said, stopping Tsubaki before she could sit back down, “While we’re up, would you like some tea? I was getting a bit thirsty so I might brew a pot.”

“Oh, yes…” Tsubaki answered absently, “Sure.”

Aoi raised her thumb and forefinger to frame her chin and smiled. “Great. I’ll have it ready in a moment.” There. That ridiculous pose, that dumb grin – why was that so effective!? Tsubaki sighed fondly to herself and headed into the kitchen.

“Wait, our cups are still in the sink from earlier. I’ll help you clean up!”

Within a few minutes, the kettle was warming up and Tsubaki was just setting their freshly cleaned cups onto a tray. Beside her, Aoi was preparing a few snacks while humming a new melody, rifling through her cupboards with precise, subtle motions. Tsubaki stared. The way Aoi swept her hands across the turntable, the way she picked out a canister of tea and pressed her fingers across its lip, the way she tapped the side of her thumb against the counter as she hummed… Tsubaki caught herself once again imagining the pressure of Aoi’s fingers.

Tsubaki shook her head and walked back toward the sofa – she didn’t make it that far, but she at least stopped herself from daydreaming about Aoi’s hands. It was just too easy for her to hold Tsubaki’s gaze… she was handsome, of course, but then everyone in Rondo was gorgeous. Aoi, though… Aoi kept chasing after Tsubaki, rushing to meet her, seeking her out, telling her she needed her… For Rondo, of course.

_Right… for Rondo._

Tsubaki leaned back against the kitchen wall and watched as Aoi arranged a few shortbread cookies across a plate. She measured out the tea leaves carefully, cleaned up a few stems that fell to the counter, and then filed the canister back into the cupboard. Tsubaki felt a faint, stinging thought arc across her mind.

“Hm. I might have added too much water, sorry it may take a few more minutes to boil. Is that alright?” Aoi adjusted the kettle on the stove before heading back to the living room.

“What? Oh, sure. What about the magazines? Now that Hiiro’s gone, it doesn’t feel like the two of us should decide on the next theme for everyone.”

“That’s true.” Aoi chuckled softly. “It’s hard for me to narrow my ideas down too. A lot of the concepts Hiiro showed us would all work, and beside all that there are a lot of outfits that would look amazing on you, Tsubaki.”

Tsubaki felt her breath catch in her throat.

_How can she say things like that and still sound so calm!? Does she know what happens to me when she does this!?_

“Aoi…”

Tsubaki looked away, her voice trailing. Confused, Aoi leaned in closer toward her face.

“Tsubaki? Are you feeling alright?”

The teacups rattled against their saucers as Aoi’s hips crashed into the counter. She was leaning back slightly as Tsubaki pushed her forward, her left arm on the counter behind Aoi to keep her in place as she glared up and heat spilled from her gaze.

“Why do you keep saying things like that while you look right at me? You keep saying you want me and you need me and that you love my voice — do you know what that feels like? Even if you say it’s for Rondo, I can’t…” Tsubaki floundered, her ears burning as her hands began to shake, “it’s not like I can just stay calm listening to that.”

Aoi listened, her mouth hanging open as the kettle began to boil on the far side of the kitchen.

“Tsubaki…” Aoi reached up as if to touch Tsubaki’s face, but she stopped halfway and lowered her hand.

“Aoi, you…” Deep breathes. Tsubaki clenched her fist and exhaled slowly. Maybe Aoi really didn’t know what it felt like to hear a beautiful woman say something to you so bluntly and without hesitation. Maybe it was time that Aoi found out.

“Aoi. I want you.” Tsubaki lowered her voice but her eyes never left Aoi’s face. Frustration steadied her words and she pressed her hand into the counter to keep it from trembling. Aoi faltered.

“I-“

“I need you, Aoi.” Tsubaki moved closer, never letting Aoi escape her gaze or avoid her words. “I don’t want anyone else but you.”

She stared intently and waited, searching Aoi’s face for every reaction and any hint of a blush or a frantic thought or even a crack in Aoi’s composure. There had to be something, right? After saying all of that so close to her face, feeling her breath across Aoi’s skin, close enough that their hands almost touched, Aoi had to feel _something_ close to the elated panic that rushed through Tsubaki each time she heard those same words. She watched, and finally she saw Aoi’s eyes grow dim and the tension left her shoulders.

“Tsubaki… I’m sorry.”

Her voice came out like a hoarse whisper, like a carefully piled stack of letters slipping from the edge of a desk. Tsubaki felt a coil tighten in her throat and her fingers felt numb. Suddenly it was painful to look at Aoi, to meet her eyes while those words were still dripping from her ears. She turned away, but before she could move back she felt a hand gently cupping her face.

Tsubaki only had time to take a single startled breath before Aoi raised her face up and pressed her lips against Tsubaki’s own. Heat like steam rose in Tsubaki’s chest and Aoi’s fingers felt almost cool across her cheek. Aoi’s eyes were closed and Tsubaki watched, for just a moment, before she shut her own as well. She leaned up and into Aoi’s kiss, reaching up instinctively to steady herself only to find her hand now resting on Aoi’s chest. She felt warmth through her shirt, and a loud, heavy heartbeat.

 _Oh…_ Tsubaki’s thoughts swirled and twisted and then folded into something impossibly clear. _She was apologizing because we’re the same. Aoi…_

The rest of Tsubaki’s thoughts melted in the warmth that washed through her head. As Aoi slid one hand around to the back of Tsubaki’s neck, Tsubaki reached up and grabbed the back of Aoi’s head to pull her in closer. Her fingers brushed through Aoi’s hair, closed around soft tufts and tugged lightly, relaxing only when she felt Aoi’s tongue cross her lips again. Her other hand was resting on Aoi's collarbone now, her thumb slowly rubbing back and forth along curve of Aoi’s skin. Tsubaki's fingertips traced a path beneath Aoi’s collar and under the fold of her shirt, resting on her bare shoulder.

“Tsu…baki…” Aoi’s breath was ragged and her voice barely broke above a whisper as she muttered Tsubaki’s name, just for a moment before their next kiss.

Aoi was holding Tsubaki’s waist now, drawing her closer and lifting her shirt slightly as her hand moved around to Tsubaki’s back. By now Tsubaki was having trouble breathing, but she didn’t want to breathe. Her teeth tugged at Aoi’s lip as they pulled apart and kissed again, her body pressed firm against Aoi, her lungs screamed but she ignored them. The moment they stepped back, the moment they pulled apart, the balance of their daily lives would change. Even now as Aoi gasped for breath and kissed her desperately, Tsubaki was afraid of just what that change would mean.

The kettle whistled and Tsubaki fell forward, falling into Aoi and pinning her to the counter. Aoi’s head hit the edge of the sink and a spoon fell from the counter, clattering against the floor.

“Aoi! Are you alright?”

“Yes, I think… Tsubaki, I—”

“A-Aoi, the water!”

Steam hissed and dripped across the stovetop, sizzling across the burner as the water boiled. Tsubaki clumsily stepped aside and helped Aoi up, her chest heaving as she caught her breathe and Aoi scrambled across the kitchen to turn off the stove. She tripped twice, just for a moment and always catching herself, but somehow the sight of Aoi stumbling through a room made Tsubaki smile. Once the kettle was off the heat, Aoi began rubbing the back of her head and laughing at herself, her collar wrinkled and uneven as she checked herself over for injuries. The urge Tsubaki felt to grab her shirt and kiss her again was immense.

“Tsubaki, are you— ah,”

Aoi turned back to look at Tsubaki and jaw fell slack.

“Tsubaki… I pushed too far. I’m sorry.”

“W-what?” Now, of all times, Tsubaki felt a pang of embarrassment and, unexpectedly, a chill across her shoulder. She hadn’t noticed before, but at some point Aoi pulled Tsubaki’s jacket halfway off, slipped her shirt down, and pulled her bra strap aside. Tsubaki felt a heavy thud in her chest, like knuckles rapping against a door.

“Don’t apologize!” Tsubaki pressed her hand against her own face and glanced away, struggling to look at Aoi in the state she was in, “O-or instead of that, Aoi just say what you mean clearly so that I understand why you just kissed me and why you’re looking at me like that and… and…”

As Tsubaki stammered out her words, Aoi stepped closer, her feet falling in time with the off-beats of Tsubaki’s heart. She reached out and took Tsubaki’s hand, raised it to her lips, and kissed her fingers softly.

“You’re right,” She said as a warm, bittersweet smile crossed her lips, “It’s true that when I first said I needed you, I was mostly thinking of Rondo. But even then I think that wasn’t all I meant by it. So, let me say it again more clearly: Tsubaki, I want you.”

She leaned forward, pulling Tsubaki’s arm back to draw her into an embrace again but Tsubaki stepped away.

“A-Aoi!” Tsubaki felt her breath turn to steam as it left her. “T-that’s not what I— Aoi, I need you to say it clearly!” She clutched the hem of her shirt with one hand and squeezing Aoi’s fingers with the other. “Do you want to kiss me.”

“A-ahaha. Yes. I do.” Aoi shot off a dashing grin, but she couldn’t hide the slight quiver in her voice. Tsubaki almost laughed.

 _What the hell… so she can get embarrassed about these things too?_ Tsubaki felt a sly grin stretch across her face. _Somehow that’s nice to see. Don’t worry, Aoi… I won’t tell anyone else about how much you’re blushing right now._

“Okay.” Tsubaki said, taking a measured breath, “Then I want you to. Kiss me, I mean… and Aoi, tell me if I go too far or too fast for you?”

Aoi looked unsteady for a moment, but she found her balance soon enough.

“I will, but since it’s you, Tsubaki,” She reached out and swept Tsubaki’s hair behind her ear, gently outlining the side of her face and then her jaw, “I’m not worried at all.”

Tsubaki could only stare. Warmth filled Tsubaki’s head again and smothered her thoughts.

 _Maybe…_ She thought, _Maybe you should worry more._

In a single motion, Tsubaki grabbed both sides of Aoi’s jacket and slipped it backwards off of her as she leaned in and pressed her lips to Aoi’s throat. Aoi braced herself this time, catching Tsubaki in her arms and kissing the tips of her ears and the line of her jaw.

They never made that pot of tea.

* * *

“Hey, Hiiro, how long do we have to do this, again?”

Nagisa stared at their phone, absently pawing at a text conversation with Tsubaki and waiting for a response to a benign, almost irrelevant question.

“Hmmm, just a bit longer, I think. Let’s see,” Hiiro checked her own phone again and smiled slyly, “Good. Aoi hasn’t responded either.”

Across the table at a busy family restaurant, Nagisa plunged a spoon into a huge pudding parfait and devoured a heaping scoop.

“Mm. Well, I don’t mind since you’re treating me right now but…” Nagisa glanced outside, the sun set firmly below the trees and cars filing past on their way home from work.

“Does it really mean anything if Tsubaki and Aoi aren’t answering texts for a few hours? That doesn’t seem weird, maybe they just got busy working on a new song?”

Hiiro simply sipped her coffee. “You think so? The chances of both of them being away from their phones for so long… I wonder if that’s just coincidence? Well, we’ll check on them tomorrow and see how much progress they made.”


End file.
